SHOP THE POST
As I sit to write this post, everything and yet nothing is running through my brain at the same time. So much has changed that makes me ‘me’ in the past year alone and yet to most people I probably look and seem the same as before.
The biggest and most public change has been in my health. As many of you will know, I have struggled with infertility for a long time now. Not knowing the issue had the biggest impact on my emotional wellbeing but finding out what the issues were, also came with the need for some time to heal emotionally.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis, originally through a scan and MRI and also found out that one of my tubes were blocked and the other narrowed significantly. At this point, I had 3 endometriomas and my husband and I started our fertility treatment.
After a round of IVF and an operation for a ruptured ectopic, we were told that my endo was severe. Dealing with loss and the mortality of my own life following the rupture was difficult, however, it is grounding to know that I am blessed with more days ahead of me. Going forward, we can try again and I know that I need to modify my diet to accommodate my health issues. From what I have read, a mainly vegan, gluten-free diet with high omega 3 is recommended, but I haven’t looked too much into this at this point.
My goals are just like any other person’s; Better health, increased productivity, more opportunities to become happier in myself and to have more fulfilling life experiences. But the difference this year is that I want to take things slow. I want to actually achieve these things. I want more time dedicated to things that I enjoy – like creating content. More time spent with family, friends and my fur family. More time soaking in what is around me and realising how special time really is. Because if the past year has taught me anything, it is that it can all change in the blink of an eye.
I have always struggled to see where I fit in on Youtube. My interests are so broad and my views are often low in comparison to my sub count. Which should tell me that I am putting out the wrong type of content. I feel that if I keep making videos that I enjoy then the right people will find me. I have come to realise that what I want primarily is to help others. Be that through teaching a makeup tip here and there or through chatting about daily life in a vlog and normalising emotions. So, the content that you can expect from me will be the usual on Youtube but with more consistency! I want to write more here and share things that perhaps I wouldn’t think of with a camera in my face and I want to keep helping people in any way that I can.
One thing that I really need to improve is my self-confidence. The reason that you see so little of me on my instagram feed is because of this! I want to experiment and find the angles that make me feel okay – we all have a better side, right?! I would love to know what you would like to see from me this year. How can I help?
In many ways, I am still the same person. I still enjoy the same things and I still have the same goals in life. The differences that you may or may not spot now are that the things that used to worry me the most, now worry me less. I have more patience most of the time, for now anyway, as I empathise with each individual’s life situations. And that I want more from life. When I realised that I was close to not being here anymore, I thought about the people that I still wanted to spend time with. I want more happy memories before my time is up!
I am still finding out who I am as a woman and I think that this year really is a year of growth. I know that there will be hardships to come but I also know that I have a support system and routines in place that work for me. I hope that you will stick around for the journey so that I can share what I learn along the way.
So who I am? I am Lisa Gregory-Jenkins. A wife, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a mum to a fur family, a teacher, a creative, a sensitive yet bold, and ever learning woman.