I’ve Changed

It has been a funny old year for many people and as I write this, I bet that many people’s lives have changed in some way, whether that be positively or negatively. The one thing that we have in common is that there has been change for all. I am still educating myself on BLM, still learning about others in ways that I hadn’t before and still finding out who I am as a person and trying to understand my health.

Many of the recent changes for me have been positive, despite another failed fertility round. I wanted to talk you through some of these changes and why they have come about only now. Maybe they will help to spur on some positive changes for you too.

It all started with a happiness list that I wrote recently, just before the end of my last round of treatment. I was anticipating a ‘negative’ and thought, what are the things that make me happy that I could do when I am feeling a little low? And so, I wrote a list of very simple things that bring me joy. A checklist if you will:

– Fresh air and light
– A hot drink
– Gratitude and aspirations
– Movement and stretching
– Music
– Smooth, healthy skin
– Time with family/friends
– Time with pets
– Gardening
– Cooking
– A favourite hobby
– A clean, minimal home

These are simple things that make me feel good both mentally and physically and I have been using this list to take part in as many ‘happy’ things as I can each day. I am finding that I am finding more joy in the little things now than I used to and I appreciate the sunshine and the sound of the birds singing in my garden.

I feel different each week during my cycle and there are some things that I cannot do mentally due to brain fog and fatigue. So the second task that I undertook was typing up a 4 week timetable for myself to create content! I noticed that I tend to feel really energetic and inspired at the start of a new cycle and so this is when I have planned for the most content creation! This also means that when I physically cannot move, then that is okay too and that I can give my body the time it needs to rest. If you feel differently during the month this this could be beneficial for you too! We are working out, my diet has also changed (I talk about this a little more in the video below) and we are trying to be more sustainable, but are very much at the start of our journey with this.

So why now? Why make so many changes now and all at once? It boils down to the constant waiting that I have still been doing over the years – I can’t start running because if we fall pregnant then I will have to stop. I can’t change my diet now because if I fall pregnant I will need certain nutrients. Etc. I am bad at cooking, I can’t learn. I could never be a gardener, I kill everything! Isn’t the mind the best thing and the worst?!

I decided that a Thermomix would be easy to cook with, so we purchased one and suddenly I am a baker! We built a planter in our back garden to try growing veg and we have so much veg growing along with a rose tree, lavender and two rose bushes. I am working out, albeit not consistently and I am calmer and smiling more. Who am I? Each little thing started with taking one small step towards each thing that I wanted to try doing. Courage to try and courage to fail. That is the most important thing. Courage to fail. I think that maybe I made these changes because I was fed up of feeling useless in my body, and also because they are things that I can control when other things in my life cannot be controlled.

I am not sure if every change that we have made will stick but I am pleased that we have made a step in the right direction.
Have you made any positive changes during this time?
Do you plan to take on something new?

What is on your happiness list that you can tick off today?

I hope that you are all safe and well. Thank you for taking the time to continue to support my creative outlets.
Much love,
Lisa x



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